Calzone Golem

Medium construct


A six foot tall creature that seems to be made entirely out of pastry. A few reddish smears mar its well baked crust.

It looks like a doughy humanoid and smells of cheese and tomatoes.


The calzone golem is a strange construct dreamed up by Andolyn and Gendrew and created through a delicate process that mixes alchemy and bakery in ways never before imagined by mortal beings.

Hit Dice: 6d10 (33hp)
Initiative: – 1 (Dex)
Speed: 30ft. (can’t run)
AC: 13 ( – 1 Dex, + 4 natural)
Attacks: 2 slams + 5 melee
Damage: Slam 1d8 + 1 and 1d4 fire
Face/Reach: 5ft. by 5ft./5ft.
Special Attacks: Breath weapon, heat
Special Qualities: Berserk, construct, magic immunity, spurt
Saves:Fort + 2, Ref + 1, Will + 2
Abilities: Str 17, Dex 9, Con — , Int — , Wis 11, Cha 1

Climate/Terrain: Any land and underground
Organization: Solitary or gang (2-4)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 7-12 HD (Medium-size); 13-18 HD (Large)


As a golem, the calzone golem is incapable of strategy or tactics. Its creator can command it if within 60ft. When not directly controlled, most calzone golems stand as steadfast guardians of kitchens, pantries, or dining halls.

Breath weapon (Su): Once every 5 rounds, the calzone golem can exhale a cloud of nauseating gas as a free action. This is identical with a stinking cloud spell except that the range is 0 and the effect is a cloud that spreads in a 5ft. radius, 5ft. high. The Fortitude save to negate the effect has a DC of 13.

Heat (Ex): The calzone golem generates so much heat that its mere touch deals additional fire damage.

Berserk (Ex): When a calzone golem is struck by a slashing or piercing weapon, it must make a Will save (DC 12), or its elemental spirit breaks free and goes berserk. The uncontrolled golem begins rampaging, attacking the nearest living creature or smashing some object smaller than itself if no creature is within reach, then moving on to spread more destruction. Once the golem goes berserk, no known method can reestablish control.

Construct: Immune to mind-influencing effects, poison, disease, and similar effects. Not subject to critical hits, subdual damage, ability damage, energy drain, or death from massive damage.

Magic Immunity (Ex): Calzone golems are immune to all spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural effects, except as follows. Cold-based effects slow them (as the slow spell) for 2d6 rounds, no savings throw. Fire-based effects deal no damage but rather harden the golem temporarily, increasing its natural armor bonus by + 1 for every 3 points of damage it would otherwise deal (this hardening fades after 1d4 hours). The golem rolls no saving throw against fire effects.

Spurt (Ex): If the calzone golem is struck for damage by a slashing or piercing weapon, it spurts out a small splash of extremely hot juices from the wound. This spurt inflicts 1 point of fire damage to all individuals within 5ft. of the golem.


A calzone golem’s body is created from a mixture of fine ingredients, including approximately 100 pounds of flour, 50 pounds of cheese, four gallons of tomato sauce, and large quantities of salt, yeast, and sugar. Mushrooms, olives, or other ingredients may be added to the tomato sauce as desired. Season with oregano and black pepper to taste. All ingredients must be fresh and of the highest quality.
The Golem costs 10,000gp to create, including 500gp for the ingredients. Assembling the body requires a successful Profession (cook) check (DC 15), along with 2 hours of baking at approximately 450 degrees.
the creator must be 9th level and able to cast arcane spells. Completing the ritual drains 250xp from the creator and requires burning hands, grease, major creation, and stinking cloud.

Calzone Golem

The Mercurial Grounds BanditGecko